RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You're earring is so big in my mouth
bring money and cleavage
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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