It's like God shit irony all over that family
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
