no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
50% drunk capacity currently
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
