that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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