If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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