Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
