awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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