I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
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