Betty ford says i'm here all night
My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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