i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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