As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
