??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
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