somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
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