he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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