his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
