...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
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