This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
