How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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