im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
