My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
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