well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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