U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
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