In America we eat man semen.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Randomize
