how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
