If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
