this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
