i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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