She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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