So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
You were trust falling into bushes
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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