i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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