Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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