he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
