We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Randomize
