Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
