I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
