No more Irish car bombs ever.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
