Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
