Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
