My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
