i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
and you fell through a lawn chair
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
