I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Randomize
