Pappa wants mamma naked
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
