You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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