You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
