Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
