I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Who died my cat blue again?
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
