standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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