girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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