i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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