please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
